"Something To Howl About "

Gather 'round The Gallows again, my fellow
pasty-faced Morlocks, and allow me to direct your
glassy-eyed stares from your computer screen to that
flickering box in the other corner of the room. That's
right-- I'm talking about your television. Your friend
the TV is feelin' a little ignored right now, so why
not go over and wipe her screen, tweak her knobs, push
her buttons, and show her a little attention? Hey, you
could even break out the "rabbit ears" for old times
sake.

What's that you say? The TV is getting a little
played? Stale? Just the same-old same old? Count Gore
(who will henceforth be referred to as The Naked
Naysayer) and I had a short conversation in a cheap
hotel room recently (don't ask), about what's on the
tube nowadays. It went vaguely like this...

The Naked Naysayer: "Blah, blah... The Dead Zone...
blah, blah, blah... Lost... blah, blah, blah...
Desperate Housewives. Blah."


Me: (In my best backwater voice) "I like Dawg Duh
Bounty Hunter. He's goood people."


The Naked Naysayer: (Throwing up his hands and
rolling his eyes)"You always did have terrible taste."


Hmm... I supposed that story says more about my
slipping grip on realitythan whatever point I was
trying to make. Where was I? Oh yeah-- MR. LOBO! A
couple of years back I ranted incoherently about
Cinema Insomnia, a laid back horror host host show
from California, hosted by laid back horror host Mr.
Lobo. Back then he was this strange man in a dark room
talking to a plant and showing bad movies on cable
access. Now, he is a nationally syndicated strange man
in a dark room talking to a plant and showing bad
movies on the UATV network! Hey, it's time to love
your TV again!

Mr. Lobo is the tapped heir-apparent to the Bay
Area's legendary Bob Wilkins, with a wry delivery and
understated style that screams the universal wisdom:
"If you want to get someone's attention... whisper."
Our host relaxes in his rocker on a set that is any
Gothic minimalist's dream; the simple, darkly lit lair
of a psychointellecual film-freak. His
catchphrase: "They're not bad movies, just
misunderstood". His sidekick, a potted plant he calls
Miss Mittens. His forte: pointing out the absurd
through subtle sarcasm, commercial parodies, and an
eye for producing the kind of retro television that
will never go out of style.

Mr. Lobo has been stretching the legs of his show
across the country for a while now via The Horror Host
Underground www.horrorhosts.com, self-syndication and
other outlets-- generally pleading and whining for
attention in a way that only horror hosts and pathetic
stray puppies can. Well, it looks like all that
shameless self-promotion has taken our buddy to a
place where many horror hosts have gone before-- and
many wish we could return to-- the land of UHF! That's
right, even those of you without cable or a dish can
tune into Cinema Insomnia, if you live in one of the
select areas lucky enough to have a UATV affiliate.
To find out if Mr. Lobo is gracing your local
airwaves, or how to bring him to your town if he isn't
already there, check out: www.cinemainsomnia.com!

Happy Horroring!
Your ol' pal,
Ghastlee

Read Ghastlee's veekly ravings at www.countgore.com:

Read through an archive of Ghastlee's whining at www.horrorhosts.com: